Things Wey My Eye Dey See

Another old post from my former blog

 

Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening and Good night people………..i know u people will say my own is too much now but i suppose greet everybody down na becos of say i know no the time wey person go dey read this thing……….wow i just finished typing in pidgin english sha and nobody taught me o and i know that some people can speak and write only pidgin so they can like to criticize my own version……….na una know o cos i know sey i try……chai am good o……..i still dey praise myself here for that pidgin wey i type sha…….ok its tym to stop to stop gloating over some pidgin victory and move straight to the point……….
 
When you enter different places you see and experience different things………………I know that ko le ye yin but wait first you will soon understand where i’m coming from and where i’m goin to……….ehen me i dont know maybe its just me o but sometimes when you enter into some offices you wonder how the people inside are not frozen yet…………….mehn that air conditioner can kill and my dear I would just be shivering and smiling o cos i don’t want to look like the bush girl that has not been in an air conditioned room before even though that is the truth sha cos in my room na so so fan idey use which is not even well utilized as PHCN never gives us light so where i go com see A.C na……….so i go just sit in the office join my legs together and try not to talk to much before someone notices my lips are shaking and then the owner of the office would ask u ‘hope u are not too cold o cos dis is even the highest temperature i use’ my brothers and sisters what would i say before…..of course its not too cold na abi is it?…………..so please all u office owners try to consider people like me when you are reducing the temperature of that A.C………….thanx in anticipation of your usual co-operation as one of my friends would say……..
 
Another thing that has come to my notice……………I think I should start closing my eyes when i walk cos its like i see too many things abi what do u think……………..i knew it i should be wearing dark shades ba…..i would start doing that but before then let me first talk this one in my mouth first……i know sey na tautology but oyinbo say ‘idea is what is needed’ abi so as long as you get the point no iskayin no wahala be that…………so back to the point……….When I enter some places and i see some women both old and young struggling in some shoes they should have used to design their shoe rack if they loved it so much and had to get to get it abi ‘what does it profit a woman to wear the cutest shoes with the highest heels and lose your spinal cord’…..but i just realized that its order of priority some women would choose to lose their spinal cords to losing the honor that comes with wearing the latest ‘christian louboutin’ shoes to that award ceremony (forgive me if i got the shoe designer wrong i’m not so used to such shoes when atmosphere and my shoemaker haven’t gone extinct)………….so after the award she can pick up the wheel chair that would serve as her shoes for a while………….but really i can forgive young ladies that kill themselves in some shoes and trust me the most expensive shoes are usually the most uncomfortable ones o………….so as i was saying the young ladies could be forgiven and by young ladies I mean university babes or babes between 18 and 26 just in case you were thinking you were a young lady……ehn you now abi you know no urself again………i’m just trying to clear doubts cos anything after this ages my dear anti you are fast becoming an arugbo ehn old woman………so the young babes have a lot to keep up with and follow trend and their spinal cords are still very strong to withstand the stress but I am extremely amused when I see old women sometimes a mother of three struggling in the same heels her daughter should be wearing…….kai Aye ma ni ka o……………how would she do that……..competing with her own daughter and who go suffer the pain of the shoe pass…..we all know that answer already…………… The one that shocked me pass was when one day me and my friend Tope were aving lunch at Biggs (You know say man suppose enjoy sometimes na) and we saw this old woman who was probably coming from her daughters wedding and she was wearing this dress that i can bet was sewn with about 20 yards of textile cos it had layers upon layers andmehn………..she was wearing this maad heels and swaying to the left and right as she was going to her car and i was just praying that she should not fall down here sha….the funny part was when she got to her car o……….. a jeep for that matter and she had to hold the sides of the car and jump in one leg at a time when she could have easily respected herself and wear shoes befitting her age and sit in her car conveniently……………….
 
Na wa for all dis kain people sha
 
I really wanted to tell you people many things o cos this my eyes see plenty different things everyday but its like I have typed too many things so I don’t bore you guys……….so imma catch you guys lerra…………
 
yours anytime,
ice maiden
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On My Way Home

This is an old post from my former blog….Just thought to post it here

 

Hmmmmm………….. I really dunno how to start this thing sef…………..ok before i start this is my first attempt at blogging ever……….i read peoples blogs, comment and even share but just neva thought of blogging by myself except right now of course……………
I’m this person that never misses the staff bus cos i live very far from where i work and driving to work isn’t an option and neither is jumping danfo at 5am pleasant too as i resume 7am…….so as i was saying i am a staff bus person so u can begin to imagine the amount of radio waves that is caught up in my brain rite now……rhythm fm waves……raypower waves….cool fm waves and many more….The bus driver never forgets to turn on the radio and he intentionally makes it very loud so everyone is forced to listen wether you are interested or not……At the moment i can determine the punishment those wazobia pple want to give their callers on their goslow yarns programme….it could be either ‘pouring cold water’ or ‘riding okada’ or something worse and trust me i can sing along to any common radio advert…………is it ‘cowbells oyoyoyoyo our milk’ or ‘indomies mummy too good o’ or ‘tom toms pop that sweet’….pls just name it…..i would sing along and dance well.
As if all that is not enough to keep me company on my 3-4hrs ride home then i start to hear some wonderful songs and i wonder who ever sat down to compose these lyrics and who is that smart producer who decided to bring forth such uncreative jobs……no matter how little some money has been put into the recording and production of that song and even for it to be played on the radio……I hear songs like ‘your backside be like korodom…………baby you be korodom’…..really is that a pick up line nowadays………..i must be getting really old sha cos no one woos me anymore just maybe i would av been hearing those lines too…
Just imagine this happens to you everyday………….really how would you cope and take note sleeping is almost inevitable cos the radio is so loud but really i’m very used to u abi i dont really av a choice or maybe i do sha jumping danfo home and watching the conductor fight with the passengers over 10 Naira change and many things like that but it comes down to the same thing….no sleep for me.
So this is part of wat I xperience on my way home.

THE UNFORGETTABLE EVENTS OF MARCH 22ND

My God(in deola’s voice)…….*plenty plenty thick cobwebs*…..i need to come here more often sha……

I had a lot to say within this past months but none of these events has really given me the drive to blog again but the events of march 22 has given me more motivation than i need.

To begin with march 22 is the birthday of one of my very beautiful friends Olukemi and i love her so much….the day started off so nice….kemi had lots of food to go round very early in the morning….you all should have seen the way people were cracking turkeys and eating hot jollof rice at abt 8.30am and my class boys devoured a whole cooler of food within 2 mins…..who said the day did not start well?……Happy birthday once again my love and i’m still 8 days older than u and that won’t change…so stop beefing

My friend Olukemi

Enough of the whole kemi story…after eating hot rice, myself and my friends went to class as we usually do(we don’t miss classes) and the day just went on….and now to the next event which concerns me directly…….there is this guy i told u all about in one of my earlier posts…..i dunno how i described him in that post but he is everything i described and much more…..i wish there was another word that expressed love and i won’t have to say i love him so much all the time before it becomes a cliché but no one has found another word so i still say that i love him so much…..i got the best birthday present ever…i can’t even try to list them because i don’t think there is enough space to take all i have to type(lol)….i got the most beautiful cards i’ve ever seen in my life and he wrote the most beautiful words in them…..erm….no more details…..and yea i’m so happy and i pray that both our heart desires would be granted by God. and that’s that about me.

My cakes

After the whole birthday present drama round 1 myself and my friends went for TTG(Towards a Total Graduate)….a programme my school came up with so we don’t have any free time and this programme is usually boring(80% of the time) but God saw how happy we were and decided to make the day more eventful. I have this other beautiful friend and rich kid busayo and we were all at the programme together dancing and praising the lord  while her ipad was sitting inside her bag…..the next time she wanted to check something on the ipad she realized it was gone and we all thought someone was playing a prank on her but someone noticed a certain guy that was behind us during the service had suddenly disappeared…..we all ran out to find the guy and realized a girl had hunted him down….her name is Eva…she had been watching him and she noticed he had stolen something, she chased him and recovered the ipad and by the time we got to the scene of the crime there were lots of people gathered already….it was such fun to catch a thief……more exciting was that we had fun for about 1hr while we missed TTG…….i wish i could post the video where he was beaten and bleeding from his head and before i forget this thief of a man was limping….i’m sure they broke his leg where he went to steal once….to cut the long story short..the thief was apprehended and arrested and my friend got her ipad back….

rich kid busayo

So that’s all that happened and this is the summarized gist tho and P.S today is my anniversary :d…..who said march is not the best month ever and i love February too….

xoxo

Ice Maiden

birthday pictures

The Ex

*now cleaning cobwebs*
It’s been a long time I’ve been here…..I’m so sorry guys I was just caught up with a lot of school things……you all know how it is.
Today I want to address a very important issue in almost every one’s lives if not every one. ‘The Ex
Speaking from a girls perspective: Guys when we say its over….its actually over and when there is a new guy replacing you what other confirmation that you are not wanted do you need to see.
Its not attractive when you come begging and begging and we tell you there is someone else and yet u still keep begging…..*hello we broke up….dint u get d memo* Sometimes we have that Ex that is still so close to us we talk about a lot of things even our present relationship and he is just so neutral about it…I love guys like this ‘cos even if they have feelings they are able to control it and be neutral and some people just know how to cover up real good.
And then there are those Ex’s that don’t wanna Exit your life and then they don’t even act so cool about it….they take every opportunity they have to vent out their anger on you…any time you people try to talk and come to conclusions…they get so mad and end up insulting you and yet they claim to still be in love with you and they want you back. I detest guys like this ‘cos they are so clueless…the only reason why we are not together is ‘cos it dint work out and I found someone I describe to be way better than you…do you really think I’ll come back to you with the hate and insult….dude get a grip of your obsession ‘cos that’s no longer love.
Your Ex will always will be there and its either he is the sweet approachable one that still understands you or the clueless one that doesn’t even know who to vent his anger on.
Speaking from a guys perspective: There is that girl that never wants to come to terms with the break up….she calls your phone more times than she ever called you when you were dating her…she goes to all your friends she knew while you were dating her to put in good words for her….when you get a new girl…..she stalks her and she stalks you….This kind of girl is just out of control…..in real fact she is obsessed *get a grip girl…..you’ve got no ring on your finger*
There is this very sweet Ex too and you can tell her about your relationship and she gives positive advice on how to make it work even better……She is just so mature and knows how to handle herself despite whatever she might feel.
90% of the people reading this have been Ex’s and we all have Ex’s too….which kind of Ex will you rather be and which will you rather have……….
This message goes to the type 2 Ex:
Dear “Ex” thanks 4 d “Ex”perience but ur time has “Ex”pired so pls use d “Ex”it
xoxo
Ice Maiden

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Merry Christmas

Its been so so long I posted anything here but coming from my heart I want to wish everyone in the world a very merry christmas and as my Bishop would say ‘even as the turkeys stop talking pls don’t forget the reason for the season’…….let’s celebrate the birth of christ amidst all the fun we might be having……I wish everyone the very best of this season….
With love,
Ice Maiden

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Where do you fall in?

Looking back at the class that u were in the university or better still classes that we have all being over the years or classes we still are at the moment……….no matter the people that constitute the classroom there is one common factor ‘CHARACTER’. A classroom is made up of different unique characters embedded in each and every one of the people contained therein.
In a class………….you have the proud(those that believe there is much more to themselves which only them see, the ones that can never be wrong (OMG this one’s never make any mistakes but obviously point out every other persons flaws), the ones sentimentally attached to their properties( when you borrow any of their stuff please return before they hunt you down), the ones sentimentally attached to other peoples stuff ( the class thief…when they pass peoples belongings just cling to them), the class clowns(they make everyone laugh so much that they are never even taken serious themselves), the ones that are always in class(whether there is a class or not, u just know where to find them…what they do there only them can explain), the class talkative (they talk so much they don’t even know when to stop), the ones that just think they can say anything (some people believe they are so eloquent so they just spit out whatever comes to their lips whether its right or not), the ‘I Don’t Care’ ones ( nothing really matters……..their best phrase is ‘let’s just do this and get away with it’), the best dressed ( the ones that no matter what they wear they just look good), the ones who try to be proud(this one’s forget that pride comes from within and that the fact that they are not proud is actually a good thing but yet they walk like they have a bag of cement hanging from their armpit), the spirit filled ones ( no matter the circumstance they are always in the spirit), the party lovers(OMG…….how can they think of missing that party they have been planning for 6 months ago), the brainees (they just know everything……..sometimes you wonder how they solved that math problem since they were not even in class), the couples( those that have found love in their class), the ones that get a new partner every semester( this one’s can’t just seem to stick to 1 guy/girl), the rich kids(this one’s acquire the latest everything sometimes even before you find out those stuff existed), the nerds ( this ones are too ‘bookey’……..they have all their lecture notes and textbooks in the same bag they carry everyday), the ones that have weight problems(they can’t just stop going on about how fat they are or how skinny they look……….people have bigger problems pleaseee), the love filled ones (they just love any love story), the ones that don’t show up for lectures(you only meet this one’s when it’s time for a test or an exam), the hard to get babes (they chase away every guy that comes their way till they are old haggard and lonely), the spokes person(their voices are always the loudest whether it’s necessary or not), the reserved ones(they just never say anything………this can be sometimes annoying), the daydreamers(the ones that imagine the extremely perfect life and they are not even close to getting it), the loners(well, they think they are independent but I think they are just alone), the extremely happy ones (nothing brings them down, always smiling even when everything seems bad, the frowners (they have this same upside down look everyday), the frustrated ones(they are so frustrated from home and they take this out on everyone around them), the perfect ones (everything just seems to be going on for them, perfect parents, perfect partners, perfect grades….what more can you ask for), the lovable ones ( you just have to love them……you can’t help it), the ones you can never get (that cute guy/girl you crush on but you know it’ll never be), the wannabees (the ones who at some point have hoped/tried to take on one or more of this characters……sometimes it works but only for a short time though)
A lot of these characters exist in our classrooms, maybe not all in one class and sometimes just one person possesses a combination of 2 or more……..I know reading this at some point everyone had one or more persons in mind…..it’s really true……….a classroom is that place where you can find as many unique characters as possible……….of course this is not all that you can find…….
Feel free to post your comments.

xoxo
Ice Maiden

If man were God

If man were God
we’d all be slaves
‘cos he wouldn’t be able
to allow people live for free

If man were God
we’d have to subscribe for air and sunlight
‘cos he wouldn’t want to let go
of such an enormous goldmine

If man were God
it’d probably rain all year
cos he’d forget to turn off the taps
and he’d have the seasons mixed up

If man were God
nobody would wake up early
‘cos he’d oversleep
and forget to wake anybody up

If man were God
it’d be one sin and straight to hell
‘cos he’d not be able to love or forgive
someone from whom he has nothing to gain

If man were God
pre-marital sex wouldn’t be a sin
‘cos he wouldn’t really want to miss
all that live, hardcore porn

If man were God
women wouldn’t be born virgins
‘cos he’d have deflowered them
before sending them down to earth

If man were God
worship wouldn’t be a thing of choice
‘cos he wouldn’t understand the idea
of you having a different opinion

If man were God
we’d probably have everything in fours
‘cos quadilateral symmetry would be more appealing
to him than bilateral symmetry

If a Naija man were God
natural resources wouldn’t be enough
‘cos he’d be embezzling them
…just in case

If a Jamaican man were God
there’d be no fruit trees anywhere
‘cos he’d not be able to understand
why anything other than ganja should be planted

If man were God…..absolute chaos!